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Essie’s a
smart-talking, sassy Christmas elf stranded in bumble-chuck
nowhere. On a mission for the big guy—psst, it’s Santa—she’s
been sent to double check the nice and naughty list before
the magical night arrives. An apprentice in training, she
fails to fully charge her invisibility belt and winds up
being very visible: pointy ears, green and gold outfit,
striped panties and all.
Mistaken
for a prostitute, Essie winds up in Sheriff Dalton’s jail.
Dalton is not sure what to make of Essie, but the only hotel
is closed for the night and he has no place to store her but
the “drunk tank." Like a southern gentleman he is, he
offers to put her up for the night in his house.
Since this
is a short story and a romance, you can imagine where this
leads.
“You
call fornicating on the living room floor under a Christmas
tree the definition of a good person?” says Santa Claus.
Santa and his elves are the only non-stereotypical
characters in this short tale by J. Morgan. There’s a little
too much typecasting going on in Elfing Around.
Don’t get me wrong. I loved all the cutesy phrases: for
tinsel’s sake, Vixen’s Bells, eggnog cooler, crying on a
polar bear’s shoulder. Even “hoor” had me giggling (sorry,
inside joke).
However,
like drinking an entire bottle of wine as opposed to a
single glass, it goes over the top.
It took
me several re-readings to pinpoint the source of my
discontent. I think Mr. Morgan doesn’t quite have a grasp on
the feminine point of view. Since the story is told in
female first person, this is an issue for me. My husband,
however, loved Essie. My advice for the ladies? Buy this
story for your significant other and have him read it to
you. Single? This tale isn’t going to get you hot and
bothered enough to take matters into your own hands. |